I remember vividly the day I made my decision. I was reading family stories when I experienced what felt like a butterfly flying around in my belly. It was in that exact moment that I knew what to do.
As far back as I can remember I wanted to be a mom and work in labor and delivery. I am the youngest of 3, so I didn’t have the experience of playing with a real baby, so I improvised with my puppy! As a child, I would roll my puppy around in a stroller, play baby dolls with her, and did all the “mommy” things. It was my favorite thing to do!
At the young age of 15, just a few days after my birthday, I found myself pregnant. I knew in that moment my life was forever changed.
I felt all the feels. I was scared, nervous, excited.. everything you could possibly think of. Being a teen mom was not ideal, but it was the life I was living and I knew I needed to face it head on.
I was not equipped to raise a child, especially as a single mother at the young age of 15. I knew that. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to provide my child with the life they deserved. After the initial shock started to wear down, I began considering my options. Abortion was mentioned by peers, but that was never an option for me, personally. I then explored open adoption and traditional adoption. Open adoption sounded the most appealing to me so I started digging deeper into what that would look like.
I remember vividly the day I made my decision. I was reading family stories when I experienced what felt like a butterfly flying around in my belly. It was in that exact moment that I knew what to do.
With the support of family and friends, I decided to keep and raise my daughter. I would do whatever it would take to provide her with the life she deserved. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I had an amazing support system (and still do)!
Months went by and I had an amazing, event-free pregnancy, until roughly 36 weeks. I had been saying for days that my water was leaking. I remember being told it was just a “weak bladder” from being pregnant. I knew better than that, though. But at 15 I didn’t know how to advocate for myself. After about a week or so, an ultrasound was finally performed because I continued to complain. Low and behold my amniotic fluid was extremely low. Due to how low the levels were, it was considered unsafe for baby, and I had to be induced that very day!
My induction started on July 2, 2007. Although I had a wonderful CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) and my family by my side, I still felt very alone. I had truly never felt so alone in my life.
Had I known what a doula was back then, I wouldn’t have hesitated to hire one. Not even for a second.
Being in labor at 15 years old was absolutely terrifying. I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know what the outcome was going to be or how to have a baby. I didn’t even know what being induced really meant or how it was done. Everything was so new. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life (aside from actually raising her).
But I did it.
I pushed through and did it. On July 3, 2007, I gave birth vaginally, with the help of forceps, to a beautiful 5lb 15oz baby girl. I was finally a mom – something I had only dreamed of.
From then on, I lived my life for my daughter. I never used my age as an excuse to not accomplish things. I was still able to do “teenage” things like go to prom, finish high school (I even received a scholarship), and even found time to date!
Just a few short months after my high-school graduation, I met my now husband. We got married, he formally adopted my daughter (something her and I often wished for) and had 2 more kiddos (both boys).
Having a partner during my boys’ births certainly helped, but I still felt very alone. He didn’t know how to help or support me. Totally not any fault of his, but I really needed extra support.
I had some rough pregnancies and often felt like my questions were never getting answered. I went through inductions, Pitocin, epidurals, the special care nursery, and several things in-between.
As time went on and my kids got older, I decided to follow my dreams and jump into the birth world. I took a lot of time to reflect on my journey and realized Doula work was my calling.
I never want another mom to feel alone or scared like I did, regardless of their story. Every pregnant and laboring mother deserves to be supported and cared for. They deserve to be told their options and be able to advocate for themselves.
I wanted to be the person I wish I had at all 3 of my births.
So I did just that! I got certified as a Doula. I beat the odds of being a teen mom and am now the owner of Black River Birth Services, LLC. I absolutely LOVE What I do. Supporting expecting and laboring mom’s is a true passion of mine and my goal is for that love and passion to reflect on the support I give each and every mother who chooses me to be a part of their birth story.
Want to learn more about how Black River Birth Services can help? Check out our
labor support page to learn more.